CPO Susan Knab, U.S. Navy
I have 18 years in the Navy, with ten years of broken service. My career consists of nine years of active duty (the majority post-911) and 9 in the reserve. I grew up in a small town in NH, the last of three girls in our family. My mother was a stay at home mom, and she babysat other children when we were young. She has, and continues to, dedicated her life to her family, a “soccer mom” long before the name came to existence. She knew all of our friends; our house was always full of kids and fun. She chaperoned all trips, was the first in the bleachers at our games, and made our gowns for concerts and dances. Homemade donuts, brownies, cookies and cut out birthday cakes were always provided. Our favorite was probably the Barbie clothes she made. It was a perfect town to grow up in, and provided so many positive memories.
My childhood years were those when there were only three television stations, and most of our time was spent playing outside with neighborhood kids and friends. We were all within walking distance of each other (or cross country skiing and snowmobiling), and spent a lot of our time at the park playing capture the flag, football, hide and seek (yes, even into our teens), off the wall, etc. The rules for all were to be home when the streetlights come on, and no one was allowed to go to a movie until a parent had approved it first. Life was simpler for teenagers when I was growing up, we didn’t have the pressures they have now. I was not a motivated student, and my only concern for my marks was to keep them high enough to stay on the basketball and field hockey teams.
My parents didn’t influence our post high school decisions. The majority of my friends decided to go to college, but I did not want to continue in academics. Our small town didn’t offer many job opportunities, and we had not been exposed to areas outside of New England, so I didn’t have the knowledge to leave NH and explore on my own. That left the military recruiting offices in the basement of the Post Office. I would like to say I went to the Navy recruiter because my mother and grandfathers had served in the Navy. The truth is I went in the middle of a summer day, and that was the only office that was open at the time. It was the summer prior to my senior year in high school; I was seventeen years old. I remember the recruiter coming to my house, sitting at the kitchen table with my parents and asking them to sign the form to allow me to join the Navy. They listened, looked at me, and asked me if I was sure that was what I wanted to do.
They signed for my delayed entry, and a year later I left for boot camp. This was 1983; a time when joining the military wasn’t as patriotic an act as it is now. It was just past the time where people had the choice of “going to jail or joining the service”. I had the feeling my teachers were disappointed in my decision, and computer class was only available to those going to college. I would love to say I joined to serve my country, to be a part of something amazing, but those feelings didn’t come until much later in my career.
Being young; having a sheltered upbringing and being very immature and vulnerable, I experienced events that led to poor decisions. This shaped a very difficult young adulthood. My family was the foundation that kept me putting one foot in front of the other. I knew they were my support system, and I knew I began each day due to the love for my children. Looking back now I know without a doubt that my parents, sisters, grandfather, aunt and uncle carried me through. My family tolerated decisions that they knew were not the best, and spent a lot of time with my children so that I could work to provide for them. Although my children couldn’t have the upbringing that I did, we were able to afford them a childhood full of amazing memories and taught them what family truly is.
I learned that although I could not appreciate it at the time, my family gave me unconditional love that pulled me through challenging times. Without a doubt the military taught me respect for and utilization of a chain of command. Resolving an issue at the lowest possible level first is imperative in the military. This is important not only in military life but civilian as well. From an issue with a bill, to family situations, to a doctor office it is a necessary skill to get resolution. As a Navy Chief, military leadership values are far different than civilian. I am thankful to be able to instill the same values on those coming up through the ranks.
There was an obvious shift from when I served in the 1980s to post-911. I believe in the 1980s people took pride in seeing and wearing the uniform but civilians didn’t have an idea of what that really meant. The 1990s brought the downsizing of the military and I chose to leave early with an honorable discharge. It was the right decision, as I was able to be present with my children. I can say I missed it, but can’t say what “it” was. I now know it to be the lifestyle, the camaraderie, and now something bigger than myself. I re-enlisted in the Naval Reserve in 1999. It was still non eventful, and I was able to choose where and when to spend my duty time. On September 11, 2001 I was slated to be serving my two week training in Greece; however I was playing basketball in my stateside reserve center due to an administrative error with my orders. Like anyone else, I can tell you my thoughts and feelings the exact moment each plane hit and went down that day. I can tell you I remember all of us moving to the conference room and watching it all unfold on the big screen, and as a Religious Program Specialist, the prayer I said as we formed a circle and held hands in that room.
That was the day my outlook on being an American changed forever. Unlike civilians who only have access to media reports and friends and family who serve; I have spent the last fifteen years serving as security forces at a Naval Shipyard, Special Operations Command, Central Command, Special Operations Command Central and Special Operations Command South Headquarters. I have the opportunity to hear the facts, and be reminded on a daily basis of what all people associated with the military have sacrificed for this United States of America. I am proud of the perseverance, courage and fortitude of those who have served and their family members. I have served those who have suffered severe injuries due to their service to their country, and have never heard them say they would not go back and do it again.
As the electronic age is in full force, I ask this new generation of leaders to remember their people. Remember why you are in uniform, remember there are personnel behind those electronics and in Navy Chief terms, remember the deckplate leadership. Get on the decks with your people, learn who they are and all will benefit.
I know that my family and friends are proud of my service, but I believe I selfishly serve because it gives me the greater sense of self I spoke of earlier. I met my husband ten years ago, and he immediately took pride in my service to our country. He knows my love for service, and encourages me to take any opportunity available. I had an amazing chance to return to active duty this year. I have two years of enlistment remaining before retirement, and am already experiencing that feeling of loss. My civilian job is amazing, but I am so proud to wear my Navy anchors each day.
There is a Yiddish word mensch. It is a person of integrity and honor, someone a sense of what is right. “The qualities one would hope for in a friend or trusted colleague. “ A second meaning is a synonym for servant. I wish for people to consider me a mensch. That's how I want my legacy to be.
I want to be remembered first and foremost, I want my children to remember me as a good mother. It would be nice to be remembered for my good character; living the Navy core values of honor, courage and commitment. Although I have not completed my college degree, and know of ways I could have improved my career, I know I have impacted others’ lives in a positive way. I want to have made a difference in other people’s lives. If I can be remembered for being a good person who cared about and advocated for others that would be more than enough.